Failure: There are Worse Things to Fear

The fear of failure has been on my mind a lot recently since I decided to start a new business.  I haven't stopped my old business.  I just added something on, something I think could generate some additional passive income for me and my husband as we move towards retirement.

It is very daunting to start a new business at 57 years of age.  I try to tell myself many people have made their fortunes later in life.  Colonel Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken when he was 65, for instance.  Grandma Moses first art exhibition was held in a drugstore when she was 78 years old.

When I hear stories like that, I am very inspired.  I think to myself, "Gee, maybe I should wait until I'm 65!  Or even 78!"  Seriously.  I do think that.  Because starting a business at 57 is a lot of work, and I'm already tired.  Maybe by 65 I'll be rested up enough to really give it a go.

Honestly, though, I don't think I'm afraid of failure nearly as much as success.  Success could be even more daunting.  I could have more responsibilities and a super busy lifestyle, and a whole new set of problems.  How would I handle more money than I need?.  Do I want new, time consuming challenges to dominate my life?  Do I really need my life to be rich, rewarding and full of meaning?

Seriously, these crazy thoughts go through my head all the time.  My only comfort is knowing the future of my new business really doesn't matter..  What if I fail?  The opinion of only one person matters to me, and I know he doesn't care.  I know already what he would say to me. To paraphrase Matthew's gospel, "Don't lose your priceless soul for few lousy, extra bucks."

And if I succeed?

I recently read the story of a man who died.  Before he was resuscitated, he had a harrowing experience of being dragged into hell by beastly spirits.  Then, as a last ditch effort, this lifelong atheist called out to God.  Immediately, Jesus and his angels came.  They spoke for awhile, reviewing his life up until that moment.  Now, as it happened, this man was a very successful business man.  What amazed him was that neither Jesus nor the angels were impressed by his worldly acumen.  In fact, the only experience in his entire life that impressed them was a moment when he was a child of ten.  His sister was in her bedroom, crying.  He walked in, climbed on her bed, and wrapped his arms around her.  He stayed there until she calmed down.

 The rest of his accomplishments, apart from this, were so much chopped liver.

Pax et Bonum,
Rose

Nowhere a Discouraging Word?

Here's an assignment for you: Try to find an example of negative thinking in Scripture. You know, the "it doesn't matter what I do, I can't win" sort of thing. The "if I give an inch they'll take a mile" variety of thought. The "if we give away benefits, people who shouldn't get them will cheat and get them" kind of thinking. And the "nobody appreciates anything I do, so why bother" attitude.

Jesus never looked for reasons to avoid doing unpleasant things. Even in the Garden of Gethsemane, when he knew that he would soon be beaten and tortured and hung on a cross to die by the very ungrateful people had been sent to save, he asked God to take it away from him, but only if that was his father's will. It wasn't, and he accepted it.

This prayer is attributed to Mother Teresa of Calcutta, and it spells out for us a very positive way to handle negative thinking when we encounter it:

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

"If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

"If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

"If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

"What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

"If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

"The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway,

"Give the best you have and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

"In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

In any event, this makes it quite clear, and correctly so, that being true to yourself does not have to be selfish at all. Being true to yourself means, on a spiritual level, doing what you know to be the right thing even when it doesn't make sense in any logical or visible way.

It also spells out the kind of negative thinking that gets in the way or our spiritual growth. All of them are focused on what other people think, say or do: Don't succeed. Don't be kind. Don't be honest or sincere. Don't seek out serenity or happiness. People will forget the good you do. People will never appreciate what you do. People are unreasonable, irrational and self-centered. 

Can you give up negative thinking for Lent? Why not? You still may not succeed, be kind all the time, always be honest or find serenity or happiness. People may not remember the good things you've done or appreciate what you do. 

So think about this: Why do you do the things you do? If you only do them to be noticed by other people, you will be disappointed. If you only do them for praise from others, you will not feel appreciated. 

In fact, according to the Gospel of Matthew, 6:5, Jesus said:

"When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, to to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your father who sees in secret will repay you."

Same idea with your motivations. Do what you do because you know it's the right thing to do. Don't look to others for reasons NOT to do the right thing. And you may just find that those negative thoughts are no longer keeping you from being happy and fulfilled. 

Peace on your Lenten journey

Susan

Self Doubt

I think of self-doubt being like the Chinese finger trap.  Although in my imagination, it’s my feet caught in the trap, not my fingers.  In reality, it’s actually my mind caught in the trap of action-paralyzing thoughts.

Can I trust myself?  Will I follow through?  Am I for real?  Do I really mean it?  Can I do it?

Questions like these can keep me from taking a single step towards my goals, whatever they might be.  But look what happens when I simply change a question into a statement:

I can trust myself.

I will follow through.

I am for real.

I really mean it.

I can do it.

I suddenly feel more self-empowered.  I believe in myself, even if only an eensy-teensy bit.  Say, who is that Wonder Woman in the mirror, I find myself asking.

I wonder if believing in yourself is one of the lessons Jesus hoped his disciples would learn when he told them the parable of the ten talents:

 “It’s also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master’s investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master’s money.

 “After a long absence, the master of those three servants came back and settled up with them. The one given five thousand dollars showed him how he had doubled his investment. His master commended him: ‘Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.’

 “The servant with the two thousand showed how he also had doubled his master’s investment. His master commended him: ‘Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.’

“The servant given one thousand said, ‘Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.’

“The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.

 “‘Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this “play-it-safe” who won’t go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.’

Fortunately, I don’t identify with the play-it-safe guy.  On the other hand, I don’t see myself as  a shrewd and talented investor in the Game of Life.  I guess I’m somewhere in between.  But I am reassured that Jesus likes the person who takes a risk, who goes out on a limb, the one who is scared he will fail, and maybe just as afraid he’ll succeed. 

I guess it’s normal to be all over the map, right?  One day you’re applying all your skill to realizing the kingdom of God.  Another day you’re searching for the lucky slot machine that’ll make having to trust God for your daily bread a thing of the past.  Another, you’re playing Words With Friends on your Boyfriend (my husband John’s nickname for my phone) all day, wishing God would just get back from that damn business trip.  Then you’re back to “thy kingdom come!” 

Well, no matter where you are on the cycle this Lent, remember that God believes in you.  Just like this little girl believes in herself.

Pax et Bonum,

Rose