Thursday, February 25, 2016

Live, Give & Forgive

These are my reflections on Chapters Ten, Eleven & Twelve of Rediscover Jesus by Matthew Kelly.

Are you loving yourself the way God wants you to love yourself?

A part of me hates this question. I immediately flash on an entire self-help industry dedicated to improving my self-esteem and empowering me to live a very big life by focusing on myself. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for healthy self-esteem. I want to get the most of my life. But in order to answer this question properly, I need to focus on the last half of it:

“…the way God wants you to love yourself…”

How does God want me to love myself? I have to put this question into the context of the two great commandments Jesus emphasized: 

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:34-40)”

He didn’t add a third commandment. He didn’t say, “You must go into therapy in order to learn to love yourself before you love your neighbor.” He seemed to take it for granted that we love ourselves. So, what I conclude from this is, to love God is to love myself. The more I love God, the more I’ll love myself.

The analogy that comes to mind is sun bathing. If I bask in the sun, I’ll get tan. If I bask in the presence of God, I’ll reflect that influence. I’ll just start naturally acting like Jesus…loved, loving and lovable.

So I ask myself, how did Jesus love himself? Well, to make it short and snappy. He prayed and he served.

That being said, the question for me is, “Rose, are you loving yourself through prayer and service?”
The answer is yes. Although there are days I’d like to be praying in a spa and serving myself another glass of wine.

Thank you, God, that we practice loving ourselves when we love you and serve others. Amen

How is God inviting you to become more generous?

Eight years ago, I started getting the message it was time to start giving back. I began by volunteering to be a lector at my parish. I joined the choir, too. I started co-leading Kid’s Liturgy. A few years later, I began volunteering at a hospital, offering Reiki sessions to cancer survivors. A few years after that, I became a friend of the L’Arche Chicago folks. I hang out with them several times a month, and I’ve helped organize a ministry to them through our parish and outreach center. I even got John and myself to get our act together as regards to tithing.

Not content to give back at church, last year I joined the local Chamber of Commerce. I am a member of our health and wellness committee, and the chair of the Chamber Health & Wellness Speakers Series.

Not to mention, I am the primary caretaker for my 90-something mother.

Now I’m getting another message. It goes something like this: “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” These are Jesus’ words to his hard-working disciples.  In effect, he was saying that even when you are out to save the world, take time to be generous to yourselves. Or you’ll burn out before you’re done with your mission.

I used to be much better at spiritual self-care. I took long weekend retreats four times a year at a local convent, nurturing myself on prayer, long walks and extra naps. For some reason, that hasn’t come as easily to me. But this Lent, I’m reminded of the old saying, “generosity begins at home.” And I’m recommitting to those quarterly retreats.

God, I am grateful for your Son’s work ethic, which included times of rest, prayer and play. Help me never lose that rhythm in my life.

How seriously do you take Jesus’ invitation to forgive?

Yesterday I was talking to my husband about this question. “Honestly,” I said, “I think forgiveness is a survival skill.” He nodded his head vigorously. After twenty years of marriage, I think we’ve both learned that without forgiveness, we couldn’t have lasted.

That’s not a very high and holy reason to take Jesus’ invitation seriously. But it’s practical, and lots of Jesus’ advice was practical.  So I don’t think he minds that I may forgive just as much to keep my blood pressure down as to bring about the Kingdom of God. In the end, I suppose, it’s all one and the same.


Jesus, give me the grace to forgive as you have forgiven me. Without it, I'll never survive.

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