Are you loving yourself the way God wants you to love
yourself?
A part of me hates this question. I immediately flash on an
entire self-help industry dedicated to improving my self-esteem and empowering
me to live a very big life by focusing on myself. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all
for healthy self-esteem. I want to get the most of my life. But in order to
answer this question properly, I need to focus on the last half of it:
“…the way God wants you to love yourself…”
How does God want me to love myself? I have to put this
question into the context of the two great commandments Jesus emphasized:
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with
all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest
commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All
the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew
22:34-40)”
He didn’t add a third commandment. He didn’t say, “You must
go into therapy in order to learn to love yourself before you love your neighbor.”
He seemed to take it for granted that we love ourselves. So, what I conclude
from this is, to love God is to love myself. The more I love God, the more I’ll
love myself.
The analogy that comes to mind is sun bathing. If I bask in
the sun, I’ll get tan. If I bask in the presence of God, I’ll reflect that
influence. I’ll just start naturally acting like Jesus…loved, loving and
lovable.
So I ask myself, how did Jesus love himself? Well, to make
it short and snappy. He prayed and he served.
That being said, the question for me is, “Rose, are you
loving yourself through prayer and service?”
The answer is yes. Although there are days I’d like to be
praying in a spa and serving myself another glass of wine.
Thank you, God, that
we practice loving ourselves when we love you and serve others. Amen
How is God inviting you to become more generous?
Eight years ago, I started getting the message it was time
to start giving back. I began by volunteering to be a lector at my parish. I
joined the choir, too. I started co-leading Kid’s Liturgy. A few years later, I
began volunteering at a hospital, offering Reiki sessions to cancer survivors.
A few years after that, I became a friend of the L’Arche Chicago folks. I hang
out with them several times a month, and I’ve helped organize a ministry to
them through our parish and outreach center. I even got John and myself to get
our act together as regards to tithing.
Not content to give
back at church, last year I joined the local Chamber of Commerce. I am a member
of our health and wellness committee, and the chair of the Chamber Health &
Wellness Speakers Series.
Not to mention, I am the primary caretaker for my
90-something mother.
Now I’m getting another message. It goes something like
this: “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” These are
Jesus’ words to his hard-working disciples. In effect, he was saying that even when you
are out to save the world, take time to be generous to yourselves. Or you’ll
burn out before you’re done with your mission.
I used to be much better at spiritual self-care. I took long
weekend retreats four times a year at a local convent, nurturing myself on
prayer, long walks and extra naps. For some reason, that hasn’t come as easily
to me. But this Lent, I’m reminded of the old saying, “generosity begins at
home.” And I’m recommitting to those quarterly retreats.
God, I am grateful for
your Son’s work ethic, which included times of rest, prayer and play. Help me
never lose that rhythm in my life.
How seriously do you take Jesus’ invitation to forgive?
Yesterday I was talking to my husband about this question. “Honestly,”
I said, “I think forgiveness is a survival skill.” He nodded his head
vigorously. After twenty years of marriage, I think we’ve both learned that
without forgiveness, we couldn’t have lasted.
That’s not a very high and holy reason to take Jesus’
invitation seriously. But it’s practical, and lots of Jesus’ advice was
practical. So I don’t think he minds
that I may forgive just as much to keep my blood pressure down as to bring
about the Kingdom of God. In the end, I suppose, it’s all one and the same.
Jesus, give me the
grace to forgive as you have forgiven me. Without it, I'll never survive.
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